That bothered me. But where do the fear and shame come from?
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I traced those feelings back to when I first arrived in the United States as a teenage immigrant. The way they said it—always with a disgusted scowl—seemed to suggest anyone who dates too many Asians is creepy and abnormal, akin to perverts who watch kinky dwarf porn in a dank basement.
When I was dating a Jewish guy, I started noticing that there were a lot of couples like us: white or Jewish man, Asian woman.
The problem is, the more I was reading such articles, the more they confused and upset me. Recently, a Woman wants casual sex Park Hall sent me an Invisibilia podcast episode in which an Asian American woman interviews another Asian American woman who mostly dates white men.
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Have we really come down to this—marking racial check boxes in our romantic pursuits? Nowhere in that interview did I hear her talk about being equally yoked or seeking commitment, mutual respect and trust, sacrificial love, and open communication.
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Check out the many success stories. She posts screenshots of their messages alongside photos of herself looking stoic, fierce and totally over it.
She posts those. We have our own inner lives.
We marvel and we create. We work through shit with our families.
Asians are not a monolith, but a lot of men will claim to be into Asian women when really they only mean light-skinned East Asian women. Many Asians have dark skin.